December 23, 2004
For the first order of business,
I would like to take this opportunity
to publicly thank the following
corporations for helping this
administration's dream of true equality...
Biohack for their work on correcting
inequality between the sexes.
Pigmentation Inc. for their efforts on
Mind Tweak International for their
brainwashing of the masses to eliminate
religious and nationalistic differences.
Thanks to the contributions of these
fine corporate entities,
I can now report with confidence
that everyone on earth has been changed into
Now for the second order of business,
arson swept through another township last night...
Two suspected left handed people
were observed fleeing the scene.
This administration can no longer tolerate
the flagrant disregard of life exhibited
by these left handed terrorists...