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November 28, 2004

The Bible on Liberals

Since the term 'liberal' has been demonized by the religious right as of late, I thought I would go to their most favorite book to quote from (the King James Version of the Bible) and see what it has to say about being liberal and liberality.

The term is mentioned ten times (in various forms) throughout the Old and New Testaments. In every instance, it is mentioned in a positive light. In James 1:5, it actually indicates that God gives liberally. Does this mean that God is liberal? Oh God, forbid!

Interestingly enough, the term conservative isn't even mentioned in the bible.

The references are included below. The search was aided by the engine located at:

Old Testament

Thou shalt furnish him liberally out of thy flock, and out of thy floor, and out of thy winepress: of that wherewith the LORD thy God hath blessed thee thou shalt give unto him.
--Deuteronomy 15:14

The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.
--Proverbs 11:25

The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful.
--Isaiah 32:5

But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand.
--Isaiah 32:8

New Testament

And when I come, whomsoever ye shall approve by your letters, them will I send to bring your liberality unto Jerusalem.
--1 Corinthians 16:3

How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.
--2 Corinthians 8:2

Whiles by the experiment of this ministration they glorify God for your professed subjection unto the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men;
--2 Corinthians 9:13

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
--James 1:5

November 19, 2004

Useless Wisdom of the Blue Santa

Useless Wisdom of the Blue Santa:
"Mexican food was initially called Tortilla Origami."

November 18, 2004

Quality of Life

The term 'quality of life' is a very human term. Only humans seem to have developed the capacity, or perceived need, to judge the condition of their situation during their stay on this plant covered rock. Usually this judgment isn't an honest assessment; it is merely a comparison to another human done out of jealousy or pity. Complaints abound if one's life comes up short when compared to a majority of neighbors. Guilt creeps in and makes us feel uncomfortable if it's been too much better than an entire country in Africa. (Nothing better for guilt than choking down the last of that double bacon cheeseburger and bucket of deep-fried potatoes while watching children starve to death on television).

Animals, on the other hand, seem content to have survived. Life is its own reward not something to complain or feel guilty about. They don't mope. They don't gloat. They most certainly do not feel guilt if another animal dies. (There are those that would argue with me on these points. Most pet owners project their emotions and motives on their animal companions. I know. My cat has been seen plotting the destruction of the world.)

November 16, 2004

Needy Pillows

...and the fanatic is blind
because the alleged guardian angel
roosting on his head
has pecked out his eyes,
stuffed his soul with feathers,
and made him into a pillow
for his god to lay upon.

...and on those nights
when gods get rowdy,
pillow fights end in broken
flesh, shattered souls,
and the need for more pillows.

Face in the Sink

Drop my face in the sink and let me take in the cold water... wake me from this dream --this prison of flesh that holds me taut to the world. Reality is oppresive. Each breath labored through my sticky lungs is a brick forming my jail. My blood is mixed with crushed dreams to form the mortar. Soar through me... fly to my veins and cleanse me. Chase the dream away. Kiss me. Take my breath and allow me to forget myself.

November 13, 2004

Cowards R Us

There seems to be a lot of talk drawing comparisons between bravery and cowardice these days. What is bravery? What is cowardice? Why do people seem to think one is so much better than the other? Bravery in all its bluster is a rare trait. Though many have idealized it and made it a highly sought after attribute, this by itself doesn't necessarily make it more widely available. Why is that? Well, let’s look at it from a purely evolutionary standpoint. A bunch of humans are standing around a berry bush foraging for food. Along comes a big predator that jumps in the middle of them. What happens next is called the fight or flight response, or as my professor in college used to say, "...the fight, fuck, or hit the fence" response. Those that fled would eventually be called cowards, those that stayed and fought would eventually call themselves brave, or be called brave posthumously by the people they saved. That brings up a major point. Bravery really isn't bravery unless you are competent. Otherwise, you’re just an idiot that stopped running. That is why cowardice is so prolific in the world today. The coward ran (and bred) so they could run away another day. The brave men that stayed and fought had to be very skilled so they could live to fight another day, or else they died.

Evolutionarily, the demographics have spoken.

There are a multitude of breeding cowards mourning the loss of brave people that didn’t quite cut the mustard lead by a very few skilled brave people –that no one else is brave enough to stand up against.

Welcome to the same old world order.


This is Agatha... she will be haunting you in a few moments. She's currently busy answering Ouija Boards and browsing human hosts for future Agathatic possessions.

Are Men Necessary?

Men are being phased out. Seriously, the necessity of men has diminished greatly in the last few centuries. For generations males were the protectors, the hunters, and the defenders. Now those functions are being carried out by social institutions and not by individual family units. Thousands of years of evolution created men that were big, strong, and most importantly aggressive. Now those same traits are usually viewed with distaste. Thinking about it, that may be the greatest factor in the dissolution of the traditional family unit. Women no longer need the big oafs around to beat them and place them into “protective slavery”. Nor do they need them for pleasure or even procreation. Men are approaching extinction. They face it with a television remote, no respect, and tranquilizers.

Welcome to the new woman order.

Stars in My Beard

Falling asleep on the scanner, and waking up blind and realizing that I have stars trapped in my beard, and the world has stopped, and raindrops taste like tears from a forgotten goddess.